John Dies at the End

john-dies-at-the-end-poster2012 Philadelphia Film Festival – Winner Audience Award Honorable Mention.

US release date: January 25

Weird, paranoid, a bit like a new version of They Live–without sunglasses. Trippy, and not trying too hard to do it. Who’s this John anyway? Apparently he’s the very confused main character’s talking-too-much friend. And does he really die at the end?

My Rating: 6/10

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The Taste of Money

US release date: January 25

Beneath the senseless stylized sex drama surface, it’s a harsh cautionary satire about the crooked rich people, social climbers, and their games of money, sex, and power. Beware you enterprising young worker-class guys and gals, no matter what you think you might do to outsmart them, you’ll never become one of them. You’re nothing but ‘meats’ for your wolf and she-wolf bosses. Nothing but ‘breasts’ and ‘penises’. But don’t we all know that already?

My Rating: 6/10

AND THE OSCAR GOES TO: Best Picture

Amour
Sure you and your spouse want to live long and grow old together? Be careful what you wish for.
My Rating: 10/10

Argo
Of course the Revolutionary Guards could have just call the control tower to cancel the take-off permission, right?
My Rating: 6/10

Beasts of the Southern Wild
Eat to stay alive as long as you can; preferably chicken, or fish. Future scientists or no future scientists.
My Rating: 5/10

Django Unchained
Django versus heaps of slow-handed gunmen and slow-witted white folks.
My Rating: 6/10

Les Misérables
The characters were in tears, and you began to feel something for them, but the movie already hurriedly rushed itself to the next song.
My Rating: 5/10

Life of Pi
Do you really believe in him?
My Rating: 7/10 

Lincoln
Overdramatized and overwrought, as usual, but at least its a better Spielberg movie seven years after ‘Munich.’
My Rating: 6/10

Silver Linings Playbook
So a bipolar should pair up with another bipolar and live happily ever after?
My Rating: 5/10

Zero Dark Thirty
Remember, this is (just) a ‘based on real events’ movie.
My Rating: 6/10

WHO I THINK SHOULD WIN: Amour. C’mon Academy, just be honest. A best picture doesn’t have to be mostly in English.

WHO I THINK WILL WIN: Amour. Really. There are no better options. But OK, in two recent years The Academy chose to pick quite-good ‘rated 7’ movies over other obviously much or slightly better candidates. Maybe it’s some kind of their version of crowd pleasing, embracing the mass market or something. Are they going to do it again this time? And it has to be mostly in English? And it has to contain musical score? All righty. Please no Lincoln, or Les Mis. Just pick Life of Pi then.

NOW, WHO DO YOU THINK SHOULD WIN? AND WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN?

AND THE OSCAR GOES TO: Best Animated Feature Film

Brave
Too busy lecturing us like an overBEARing mother. Got the pun?
My Rating: 5/10 

Frankenweenie
Just go to YouTube and watch the original short movie instead. It’s much better. And much shorter.
My Rating: 4/10

ParaNorman
Could use a better story logic and some funnier gags.
My Rating: 5/10

The Pirates! Band of Misfits
The monkey butler is funny. If only the Pirate Captain and Charles Darwin were as funny as him.
My Rating: 5/10

 

Wreck-it Ralph
Major video games nostalgia time!
My Rating: 7/10

WHO I THINK SHOULD WIN: Wreck-it Ralph. Not much quality in this year’s nominees, I mean, THREE Disney movies for crying out loud. Wreck-it might not be one of the best animated movie ever created, but it clearly stands above the rest.

WHO I THINK WILL WIN: The Academy loves “family oriented” preachy, brainwash-your-children, Disney story with “rich cultural background” more than a video-games themed Disney movie. So, sadly, they will choose Brave.

NOW, WHO DO YOU THINK SHOULD WIN? AND WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN?

AND THE OSCAR GOES TO: Best Foreign Language Film

 

Amour
Sure you and your spouse want to live long and grow old together? Be careful what you wish for.
My Rating: 10/10

 

Rebelle (War Witch)
She can see dead people.
My Rating: 7/10

 

No
People are just a big herd of sheep that always need a shepherd. They won’t know what’s “wrong” from “right” unless being shown to.
My Rating: 7/10

 

En Kongelig Affære (A Royal Affair)
King Christian VII of Denmark was a crazy jerk. A moronic asshole; well, at least that’s the way he’s portrayed in this movie.
My Rating: 6/10

 

Kon-Tiki
He can’t swim and doesn’t have enough money to prove his theory.
My Rating: 6/10

WHO SHOULD BE NOMINATED:

 

Bunohan
Yes. Bunohan means ‘murder’. Yes Academy, Southeast Asia can make good films too!
My Rating: 8/10

WHO I THINK SHOULD WIN: Amour.

WHO I THINK WILL WIN: Amour, no doubt. Not much of a competition this year.

NOW, WHO DO YOU THINK SHOULD WIN? AND WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN?

2013 Oscar Best Foreign Language Film Nominees: ‘No’

no2012 Cannes Film Festival – Winner C.I.C.A.E. Award.
2012 Sao Paulo International Film Festival – Winner Audience Award Best Foreign Language Film.

People are just a big herd of sheep that always need a shepherd. They won’t know what’s “wrong” from “right” unless being shown to. And to “guide” those ignorant people of the late 20th century there was no better option other than the best obvious choice: TV commercials.

My Rating: 7/10

>>>Check out my other reviews on 2013 Oscar Best Foreign Language Film Nominees:
Amour
A Royal Affair
Kon-Tiki
War Witch

2013 Oscar Best Foreign Language Film Nominees: ‘War Witch’

rebelle2012 Berlin International Film Festival – Winners Prize of the Ecumenical Jury – Special Mention, Silver Berlin Bear Best Actress.
2012 Cambridge Film Festival – Winner Audience Award Best Film.
2012 Tribeca Film Festival – Winners Best Narrative Feature, Best Actress.

Thanks to those damn ubiquitous AK-47s, everybody can afford to wage wars and become instant ‘rebel armies’. Just abduct some kids, train them, and voilà: your very own cheap killing machines to fight ‘evil’ governments. One of those small soldiers is a young girl named Komona. And she can see dead people.

My Rating: 7/10

>>>Check out my other reviews on 2013 Oscar Best Foreign Language Film Nominees:
Amour
A Royal Affair
Kon-Tiki